Before arriving, I thought I knew what to expect, in terms of the fact that Asians look different from me. But the reality was so much more nuanced, as I came to learn rather quickly. For example, people would stare at me quite a lot. The men would never call out to me or anything-just stare. Particularly if I stood on the MTR (subway) in a low cut top. This is a fashion no no among locals--lots of leg is normal, but cleavage is a HUGE deal (no pun intended). This "cleavage" issue even came up in the school I was working in, as my colleagues would freak out if so much as a bra strap was showing. I don't think this had anything to do with the fact that it was a religious elementary school, either.
My height has also definitely been an issue here. As many of you may know, my students used to constantly ask me, "Ms. Murray, why are you so tall?" The most iconic example of this height wonder manifested itself in a classic essay a student wrote about me whereby he claimed that "Ms. Murray is very tall--perhaps as tall as a door!" Not for the first time, I also became the all around representative for and expert on the subject of Westerners, with my colleagues asking me all about Western culture, from the matter of elections to men in America.
One of the first times I truly felt like the token white person, however, was when I went on my trip to Vietnam last Christmas. 4 western girls and I embarked on an epic journey across China to get to Vietnam. We were the only white people on the trains, and Chinese locals often stopped in front of our cabin and just loitered, staring at these curious Westerners in their mist. When we were almost in Vietnam, we started playing Choi Dai Di, a Chinese game that is quite like poker, and some of the locals joined us. This was funny in itself, as of course there was no verbal communication involved, but the best part was that we were playing with these giant joke cards that one of my friends had bought at the market, and the locals just couldn't get over them--they thought that all us "big" Westerners must use these "big" joke cards!! There we were again, being the token white people!
When I started dating Zeno, I became even more acutely aware of the token white girl phenomenon, as Chinese men rarely date Western girls. Unknowingly, we became an item just by walking down the street. When I started attending his basketball games, I was always the only foreigner there, almost like the mascot for his team! I also became a bit insecure, thinking that I was just a trophy on his arm--did he really find me attractive or was I just a white girl on his arm? I have come to terms with this at this point, and am happy to be on his arm at any occasion :)
Zeno's birthday with the bball boys
Like last year, I am the only Westerner at work, but unlike last year, I don't have all my British/American/Canadian Chatteris colleagues as a support network, so it's a bit different. Recently, I have been involved in organizing Christmas decorations and parties for the tenants living in the building I work in. As usual it seems, I was the token white girl, so as usual, I was the MC at all the events:
After having worked and lived in all Chinese environments the past two years, I realize that no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try to speak the language or "fit in," it is impossible. I will always be a sheep in lamb's clothes here. While it's been interesting being the token white girl the past two years, I must admit being the minority is definitely overrated at times...hahahaha
My friend and I in traditional Hakka women gear
2 comments:
How interesting -- in Japan, white girls rarely get attention. In fact, they often complain of the difficulty of dating here because Japanese men rarely date non-Japanese, and all the Western men who come here seek to date Japanese women. I think White women are stared at in Asia because they look so different -- pale-skinned, bigger, and taller, but not necessarily because they're more attractive.
mariel, i completely relate to this entry. i'm surprised it's this way in hong kong , which i thought was flooded with westerners. i'm always a spectacle here chiang rai, and definitely get very little attention from men. it's an experience, but as you say, i think i'll be ready to be back where i'm not the minority too!
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